My Personal Grief Journey--Part 2
Tuesday, September 11, 2018 by Abbigail Kalaf MS LPC BCPCC

On the morning of Andrew’s death, I was preparing for a birthday party we were to attend.

When I went to wake him, I found his body lifeless. The moment I realized he was gone, I unleashed a guttural scream unlike any my husband had ever heard.

I cried, “No, not yet, no, not yet,” over and over.


Then two thoughts occurred—Andrew is with the King and Psalms 139:16, All the days ordained for you were written in the book before one of them began. I felt like God said to me, “I knew Andrew would die on September 15, 2007, and I that you, Bill, and Matt needed him in your lives for six and half years to become who I want you to be.”


These words brought me comfort in the days, weeks, and months after my son’s passing, especially as we awaited an explanation for Andrew’s death. It would be months before we discovered the cause—an undiagnosed heart condition.


Having a diagnosis did not bring the comfort I had anticipated. It was the memory of the Lord’s words that answered my questions and facilitated my grief journey.


As I consider what else helped me to cope with the grief, I recognize that I found great comfort and strength in Scripture.  After my mom’s death, I learned the importance of scripture memory, daily quiet times, and meditating on God’s word. I found it important to read books on grief and journal with God, pouring out my heart. I continued to go to church and stay connected with fellow believers.


There are many circumstances that cause pain in life. Sometimes we are restricted in our ability to reach out to others. But God is always available, even when we don’t sense Him. His word is true.


I went back to counseling after Andrew’s death, and was finally able to cry in session.


After each loss, I needed something different. With mom’s death, I needed comfort. And with dad’s, I needed peace. But with Andrew’s, the pain was so deep and raw. I needed more than could be said. My soul was pierced. I was experiencing the words of this psalm.


My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:8


It was heart-wrenchingly difficult, but the Lord ushered me through this time.


Following my son’s death, a friend arranged for me to have breakfast with Dr. H. Norman Wright (an author of several books on grief). As I shared my experience, he asked about the tears. I told him I was still crying. He warmly affirmed letting my tears flow—even if I found myself crying while sipping coffee at a Starbucks.


Even as I review these words, the tears keep coming.


My prayer is that God will continue to heal my pain . . . let me feel what I need to heal.

***For Part 1 of Abbigail’s story: Part One


Guest Blogger: Abbigail Kalaf MS, LPC, BCPCC

Share This Blog:


Abbigail Kalaf From NC At 9/14/2018 11:30:17 AM

Dee, Thanks again for sharing my story.

Reply by: Dee Lundgren

My honor to share your story. God is taking your pain to bless others.

Previous Posts

Healing through Rest
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Real hope in perilous times
Dee Lundgren M.A., L.P.C.


The Craziness of Grief
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


How I Almost Missed Out
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Weathering the Storms of Life
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Is There Purpose in Pain? (And Why it Matters)
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Good Grief
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


The Truth About Grief (And How God Uses It for Our Good)
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Is It Ok for a Christian to be Depressed?
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


The Truth about the Good Old Days
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Do You Struggle with What God Allows?
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Keep Walking
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Embrace Your Season
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


How to Have Peace in a Chaotic World
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


There's Always Hope
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Prayer the Solution to a Common Condition
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


The Connection Between Health and Loss--My Personal Story
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


How Not to Be Cranky
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Does God Promise Healing?
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


An Answer to a Desperate Prayer
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Santa on Social Media?
Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC


5 Myths of Christmas
Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC and Patricia Durgin


7 Tips on Handling Family Drama (Proven Strategies)
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


God's Promise to the Weary
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Hope for the Frazzled Part Two
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Hope for the Frazzled
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


8 Pitfalls to Avoid being Stuck
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Problems as Gifts
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Breaking Free from Past Losses
Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC and Patricia Durgin


God's Bootcamp
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Time Out
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC


Freedom through Forgiveness
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


What Not to Do When Dreams Turn to Nightmares
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


God's Detours
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


My Personal Grief Journey--Part 2
Abbigail Kalaf MS LPC BCPCC


My Personal Grief Journey--Part 1
Abbigail Kalaf MS LPC BCPCC


Where is God in the Storm?
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Getting to the Other Side of Grief
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Billy Graham's Insights on Grieving
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


When Doing Right Turns Out Wrong
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


The Connection between Clutter and Grief
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


A Simple Quiz on Grief
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


The #1 Gift to Give to a Grieving Friend
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


10 Things Not to Say to a Grieving Person
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Do Christians Grieve Differently?
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Press on Toward the Goal
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


From Brokenness to Wholeness Podcast
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


The Blessing of Walking by Faith
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Grief Ten Years Later
Dee Lundgren MA LPC


Welcome, My First Blog
Dee Lundgren MA LPC