Do you ever struggle with what God allows in your life?

We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.  C.S. Lewis

True confession—my idea of what’s best and God’s idea of best rarely matches.

If I were running the world, I’d intervene more.

Years ago, Bob and I enjoyed watching the TV show, Early Edition. The main character, Gary, would receive a newspaper with tomorrow’s date. He would read about accidents that were going to occur the next day. Gary would spend the rest of the show scurrying to stop those tragedies. And he always succeeded.

That’s the kind of God most of us want. Someone who is going to intervene preventing tragedy.

And when God doesn’t, we can struggle with our feelings toward Him.

I remember counseling a young mom who lost her husband. Sarah was left with unspeakable heartache along with the challenge of raising two school-aged kids. The years that followed her husband’s death were difficult.

Now years later, Sarah struggles with trusting God. She reasoned that if God allowed her husband to die how can she trust him?

Feelings of betrayal by God are common after tragedy. After all, why didn’t God intervene. He could have but didn’t.

Job is the Old Testament figure who struggled with what God had allowed in his life. Job is the king of catastrophic loss—he lost all 10 of his children, his wealth, and finally his health in a matter of hours.

Devastation struck Job. In his despair he believed that God was punishing him for some reason. And Job questioned what God had allowed in his life.

Job didn’t agree with his friends who blamed him for his problems. And yet he didn’t agree with God for allowing the trauma.

Job had difficulty reconciling his theology with his experience of intense suffering.

As Christians we still struggle with painful trials God allows us to experience.

Jerry Stiller is a Christian leader who lost his wife, three children, and mother in a car accident. In his excellent book, Disguised by Grace, he came to the same conclusion that Job did in the end. Stiller realized that his view of God’s sovereignty was too small.

The process of growth through pain usually begins with feelings of protest about what God allowed.

As we slowly work through the grief process our soul will be transformed. We can move from feeling betrayed to enlarged trust.

Pain always changes us. It’s our choice whether we choose to let God conform us into the image of his Son.

Let’s not waste the pain.

Job came to realize:

I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.

You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?’

Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.

Job 42:1-3

I always enjoy hearing from others—feel free to comment.

My lying down in green pastures occurred a couple of months ago. Not actually lying down but falling down. It started with not believing the weather report—a school closing ice storm that was to begin in the afternoon. So that afternoon I decided I had to run an errand. I didn’t see the ice.

But I did hear the sound of my head hitting the concrete sidewalk.

The fall landed me in the ER. The good news was no brain bleeding. The not so good news is that I had a concussion. I now have frequent headaches, neck problems, and several doctor’s appointments.

This was my forced lying down in green pastures—my opportunity to have the normal activities of life interrupted.  And I’ve discovered that stress will trigger a really bad headache. 

Before my fall I was stressed. I was overwhelmed with many things including launching a new website and blogging. Could I really write a meaningful blog each week? And if I did would anyone read it? These were just a few of my anxious thoughts that had set up camp in my head.

Another time in my life when I was forced to slow down was after the loss of my son ten years ago. I did the minimal in every area of life. And just doing the minimal took all of my energy. I needed to rest and focus on self-care.

Grief is hard work. My clients who have recently undergone a life-altering loss often find themselves exhausted. Emotionally it’s easy to feel paralyzed and believe that our lives are over. That’s why it is important to build in a time of rest. Lowering our expectations for ourselves.

To rest is to go against the culture that encourages us to keep going and fit more and more into the same amount of time. Yet we were not created to keep going at breakneck speed. Especially if we have recently experienced a painful trial.

Our good shepherd knows His sheep. And He knows when one of His sheep needs to lie down in green pastures.

We can fight it. We can complain. We can try to get up. Or we can accept our new normal.

In the Old Testament there were set times God called His people to rest. In the New Testament the principle of rest still holds true. God has created rest for our good.

Hopefully it won’t take falling on your head to slow down.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet water, he restores my soul (Psalm 23:12).

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For this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.  1 Peter 2:21

“Why am I doing this?” I asked myself.

I was wet. I was cold. And there were nine miles to go.

The weather forecasted rain the rest of the day with no let up.

As Bob and I put on our hiking boots and clothes that morning, complaining or quitting wasn’t part of our vocabulary.

Three months ago, we decided to hike the 9 ½ miles down and then up the Grand Canyon. We booked the flight to Arizona and began training (consisting of 5-mile walks to my favorite coffee shop).

I also began watching others hike the Canyon on YouTube. In every video the sun was shining and the views were captivating.

I didn’t figure on rain in the Arizona desert. And I certainly didn’t figure that I’d have to straddle the path that had become a small stream. Green mule droppings and mud, mixed with orange run off from the rocks created a wet mess.

I thought I was well prepared—good boots, polls, rain poncho, and warm clothing. The bright yellow poncho kept water off my head to my upper legs for a few hours. Slowly the elements won out and every piece of clothing I was wearing was soaked, except for my feet.

Finally, the waterproof boots were no match for the foot of water I had to walk through. Now I was completely drenched.

The scenery was majestic on the trek down, but I missed most of it with eyes glued on my next step. At one point I slipped, falling on my hands and knees landing in the disgusting mud mess. I was grateful I didn’t break anything. If I had, there was no phone service for several miles.

As I plugged along one step at a time I kept telling myself that I was going to make it no matter what. I was going to keep taking the next step. Then the next step and then the next step.

Finally, we reached Phantom Ranch at the bottom of the canyon. There I enjoyed a steak meal swapping soggy stories with the forty or so other hikers that also braved the elements.

After the meal, I slept in the dorm in the only clothes I had—wet ones.

The next morning, we rose before sunrise with headlamps lighting the way. I was grateful the rain had stopped during the night. It ended up being a sunny day.

A friend on Facebook asked me what I learned through this experience. What came to mind was my philosophy about the Christian life. You just keep taking the next step. Sometimes times are good and sometimes they aren’t. But quitting by not following God has never been an option for me.

At times our lives can get really difficult through trials and losses. We’d rather stop and give up. But let me encourage you to hang on and keep walking one step at a time.

And one day we just might wake up to a sunny day.

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