Handle negative comments graciously. Don’t respond in kind to a hurtful comment. Not every question asked needs a lengthy answer.

Practice “detached amusement.” We can’t change others but we can stand back watching with detached amusement.

Learn the lesson from Job’s friends in the Bible. In the Old Testament after Job’s catastrophic tragedies, his friends showed up.  Each of his three friends had an explanation for Job’s problems. All three wrongly blamed him for his trials.

Prepare emotionally through visualization. Walking through the holidays in your mind to prepare for the real thing.

Agree ahead of time to not discuss known controversial topics.

Arm yourself with an emotional body guard to avoid being alone with a toxic relative. Some people are so toxic that it is helpful to ask a spouse or a trusted relative to stay with you during the family event.

Pray. Ask God to protect your heart and use you in the lives of your family.

Lord, I pray for my friends who are anticipating possible family conflict. I ask for wisdom, grace, and patience. I ask that you would help us to be people that respond rather than react. Prepare our hearts for the upcoming family gatherings this month. We want our interactions to be God-honoring. We love you and we trust you. And most of all we thank you for sending us your Son who died in our place that we might have life—life eternal. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

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“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I don’t have a favorite verse but this verse is highlighted in every Bible I’ve owned. 

In life we often feel weary. When the demands are greater than our capacity. When the expectations from others and ourselves place a heavy load upon us. Add to the mix the pressure of the perfect lives we are exposed to on social media.

Especially around the holidays we can easily fall into the trap of believing we need to do more, be more, and give more.

If your past year has brought a significant loss such as a divorce, the death of a loved one, a lay-off, an unwelcome move, a miscarriage, or an important relationship that dissolved--this time of the year can be especially difficult.

Jesus knew we would find ourselves bogged down with burdens. He knew the stresses of our jobs, our children, our bosses, our finances, or our health would feel overwhelming.

And sometimes our problems can compound with a succession of disappointments.

After my son, John, died we also had to endure several trials in a short amount of time-- conflict in our church, financial difficulties, and some questionable practices at my job.  Even the crazy but loyal family dog, Daisy, had to be put down within two months after my son’s death. Trial upon trial.

I was desperate for relief. Yet I was able to find rest in my soul as I shared my yoke with Jesus. The word, “yoke” in this verse is the word picture of a pair of oxen being coupled together.  Jesus wants us to experience rest for our souls as we walk with Him.

What I love about this passage is that God doesn’t shame us for feeling weary. Instead He welcomes us to come to Him. Jesus is the only one who can provide for us the rest that refreshes. When we depend upon the Lord we can experience a yoke that is both easy and light. 

Lord, I pray for those reading this blog that they would experience the rest that only you can provide. I ask for a deep soul comfort as we come and lay our burdens at your feet. Our problems are too big for us and we’re tired. I ask that we might experience the promise of this verse—that we might find that your yoke is both easy and your burden light. Thank you that you have provided what we need and that your love reaches down to encourage us even when we are in a dark place.

Blessings to you--Dee

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This is the season of stress.

What I love about the story of Mary and Martha is that it’s about something so mundane. And it’s in the mundane we are called to live out our faith.

When the pressure cooker of Martha’s emotions reaches a boiling point, she stomps out of the kitchen. She was ticked—ticked at her sister whom she holds responsible for her stress. And Martha appears irritated at Jesus for allowing the whole scenario to happen.

Martha interrupts Jesus accusing him of indifference, Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself! Tell her to help me (Luke 10:40).

In a tender voice Jesus answers, Martha, Martha you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed (Luke 10:41). He goes on to praise Mary’s decision.

Ouch!  

I feel many of us are surprised by Jesus’ take on the “poor me left alone with too much to do kitchen crisis.” For ages, church ladies across America have secretly sided with Martha. In ministry, we applaud the worker and look down on those we feel are not doing their fair share.

Have you noticed that Jesus often thinks differently than we do?

Jesus observes that Martha is both worried and upset about many things.  

Anyone who cooks knows not all meals are created equal. Before online recipes, someone mistakenly gifted me a gourmet cookbook. The recipes called for ingredients I couldn’t pronounce. The estimated preparation time wasn’t listed. My guess is if I planned on making one of these dishes, I’d need to clear my schedule for the day.

I’m guessing Martha was attempting a gourmet type entrée.

Jesus corrects her saying only one thing was needed--not an elaborate spread.

Jesus points out her priorities wrong. His visit wasn’t about food but about discipling those closest to him.  Time was short. He was going to the cross in a few days.

Mary made the best decision. The choice to sit and soak in Jesus’ teaching rather than be bogged down with meal preparation.

The same Jesus who miraculously fed the five thousand had the food thing under control. With Jesus around no one was going hungry. His last words before his death were the priority.

Jesus wanted Martha to go simple. And he wants us to go simple too.

I know it doesn’t take much for me to feel out of sorts. Just one curveball to my full schedule mixed with unrealistic expectations and I’m in reactive mode. Having the patience of toddler who doesn’t get their way at the check-out line.

The one thing—the most important thing is our relationship with God. Looking to God in prayer and to His word to evaluate our priorities.

A single divine focus can help us go from crazy to calm even during this Christmas season.

How do you stay calm during this time of year?

Part One 

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