Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

Ever met a chronically negative person?

George, my former next-door neighbor, comes to mind.  He reminded me of a weatherman--lighting up as he spoke about bad weather in the forecast. George had perfected the ability to spin a gorgeous day into the dread of bad weather to come. If it were nice out, George would remind me that rain was in the forecast.

George’s negative mood was so toxic it affected those around him. I avoided him—I’d go inside if he came outside. I’d stay inside if I saw him outside. Had I taken the time to hear more about George’s life, I’m convinced he had a lot of unprocessed grief—issues of the heart he never dealt with.

In my counseling practice I work with those who have a painful past that shows up in the present. One of the telltale signs is a negative attitude showing up as anger.

Sam oozed of tension and irritation. Horrific tragedy struck one of his adult children when they were being falsely accused of a serious crime. Instead of processing the pain, Sam kept things bottled up. He wouldn’t discuss this crisis with his wife or anyone else. He shut down. Until his wife would make a casual comment setting off his temper. Then he would clam up refusing to speak.

What was going on? Sam had years of practice bottling up his emotions. From a young child he had learned to be tough—to bury his disappointments. Parents that frowned upon crying. The only emotion he could now feel was irritation and anger.  And just about everything bugged him.

Our negative attitude is a signal that something isn’t right with our soul. We haven’t been dealing with issues of the heart. As life marches on crushing losses begin to pile up—broken relationships, health issues, a wayward child, unrealized dreams, guilt over poor decisions, or financial problems.

Unprocessed emotions don’t go away—they get buried alive. These buried emotions show up in a negative attitude such as anger, loneliness, guilt, or despair.

As we embrace 2019 let’s resolve to guard our hearts—to process emotions rather than bury them. Those around us will be grateful.

What steps do you take you to guard your heart?

***If you want these weekly blogs sent to your e-mail be sure to sign-up on the Home Page.

“Have you anointed yourself with oil?” Donna asked.

“No,” I said.

“Well then you are being disobedient. How can God heal you,” Donna shot back.

My gym buddy believes in healing through prayer and anointing.

My ailment was shin splints. The day after my new workout regimen I woke up to pain in my shins. Cranking up the incline on the treadmill to 15 turned out not to be a good idea

I was telling Donna about my injury. That’s when she rebuked me for not anointing myself with oil. We went back and forth in friendly discussion.  I challenged her belief on God’s promises concerning healing.  She challenged me on my “disobedience.”

After a few minutes of debate, it became clear we both weren’t changing our position. We left as friends.

In the car ride home, I reflected on the conversation on healing and God’s will. I recalled the disillusioned people I’ve spoken with through the years. I remember one young woman who was devastated after her father succumbed to cancer. Her family was convinced God promised He would heal Dad.

After Dad took his last breath the family was crushed. They felt betrayed by God. God now seemed like a Father who broke his promise.

I’m not going to cover the theology of healing in this short blog. But I’m touching on this topic because I have seen good people derailed after loss with faulty beliefs.  I believe the Bible does not always promise healing in this life. Sometimes God does heal and sometimes He doesn’t.

The following are a couple of examples of faithful Christians in the Bible who were not healed.

Even the apostle Paul left his traveling companion and ministry partner sick “. . . and I left Trophimus sick in Miletus” (2Timothy 4:20).

“Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illness”(1Timothy 5:23). Paul doesn’t rebuke Timothy for not being healed, but gives him practical advice.

Wrong beliefs about God devastate Christians when the terminal illness isn’t cured. We feel betrayed by God. Instead, we’ve been a victim of faulty theology.

What we believe about God matters especially when the stakes are high.

My shin splints are no big deal so my friend’s faulty theology didn’t bother me. I would have been angered if she had shared her belief on healing if I had a family member with a life-threatening disease.

That leaves me to my theology on shin splints. I’m using the Rice Formula--Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. I’ve added prayer to the mix. And I’ve predicting that in 2-4 weeks I’ll be ready to get back on the treadmill. But this time I’ll gradually increase the incline.

Would love to hear your thoughts on healing.

***Sign-up on the Home Page to receive these weekly blogs.

“I thought life would be easier when I trusted Christ as my Savior,” said Stella.

Yesterday I was sitting in the gym sauna along with two other sweaty women who knew each other. When the subject of church came up, I felt compelled to join their conversation. Eventually one of the ladies decided she’d had enough heat for the day.   

Stella, a 50ish woman with a thick accent and I were left. The conversation went from church to God. I learned she was a believer from Romania.

She remarked that when she came to Christ she thought life would be smooth sailing. However, in her 20’s she developed back issues along with a host of other difficulties.

“I’ve had severe back pain for over 25 years.” “Some days are just so hard.”

At times Stella would succumb to feeling overwhelmed.  One particularly difficult morning she cried out to God in prayer. She pleaded with Him to let her know He loved her that day.

“Could you just let me know that you love me?” she asked.

She knew God loved her.  But at that moment she asked God for a special reminder of his love. No one but God knew of her desperate prayer.

Later Stella spent the day with her daughter and cousin at the spa enjoying various saunas. (I’ve learned through several gym members from that area of the world that going to a sauna can be an all-day social thing. As for me, 30 minutes of baking in 200+ heat is my max.)

When the women were about to leave the spa, she noticed a middle-aged man staring at her. It wasn’t a look that made her uncomfortable—it was a kind look.

This man slowly walked up to Stella and said these unforgettable words in English, “I just wanted you to know that God loves you.” It was then my new friend remembered her desperate prayer for God to let her know He loved her. God had specifically answered her prayer.

It turned out this gentleman was a missionary to Romania. Like the locals, he was also spending a few hours at the spa.

 A divine appointment. Answered prayer. God shows up.

I just love this story. God is all about showing up in our lives especially when we are overcome with sadness. With personal heartache. With a loss.

Perhaps you are relieved 2018 is now in your rearview mirror. I don’t know what this New Year holds in store for you. But I do know God loves you. He sees your joys as well as your pain.

God invites us to come to Him even when we are desperate. I am reminded of the verse, Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:5

God wants to comfort you. He loves you and has not forgotten you.

Blessings to you as we welcome in 2019!

***I invite you to sign-up on the Home Page to receive these weekly blogs.