Christians typically give casseroles when someone dies. Books are a close second.

After I lost my son to suicide, friends brought lots of food; more food than my refrigerator could hold. We appreciated their thoughtfulness. The problem was that Bob and I weren’t eating. Food didn’t taste good. Grief numbed our taste buds.

The books we received we were able to savor in the days that followed.  My favorite book arrived at my doorstep, via UPS, Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love by Raymond Mitsch and Lynn Brookside.

The back cover has the following quote:

“Few losses are as painful as the death of someone close. No valley is as vast as grief, no journey as personal and life changing.”

In this short book are daily meditations of encouragement and practical biblical help. It’s a collection of devotionals dealing with 70 issues related to the grief process—ministering to both the head and the heart.

The best thing about this devotional is that it helped me realize that what I was feeling was normal, even though I felt crazy. Renewed hope that my peace of mind would return.

I felt inspired to keep slowly moving forward through what C.S. Lewis called, “the laziness of grief.” The apathy that sets in right about the time when others stop asking how you are doing.

I found comfort in knowing that my enormous fatigue after John’s death was to be expected. During the months and even years that followed, I felt tired all the time.  Routine day to day responsibilities seemed overwhelming.

Concentration was gone, replaced by confusion and forgetfulness. Not remembering what I was doing, where I put something, or even the name of someone I worked with. It was reassuring to realize that I was experiencing grief rather than early dementia.

I recommend this book as one of the first reads after the death of someone close and a great gift to give to a friend in mourning.

I’m grateful for the thoughtful person that sent this to me when I was at the beginning in my journey through grief.

May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to the promise to your servant.  Psalm 119:76

Several months ago, Focus on the Family (a large Christian ministry) reached out to their network counselors asking for ideas for articles.

I do what I normally do when I’m busy—I ignore anything else that would make me busier. But then I was talking with a writer friend. I casually mentioned the e-mail from Focus. I quickly added that due to my full counseling practice and blogging, I wasn’t planning on responding to the e-mail.

 “Dee, it’s Focus on the Family,” Patricia said. I repeated my answer that I was too busy. Once again Patricia said, “Dee, it’s Focus on the Family!”

Due to my friend’s prompting I submitted two article ideas. Focus on the Family choose the following. Now I’m an official published author.

I wonder how many times we miss out on what God has for us because we think we are too busy.

Here is my story of hope after losing our son to suicide. Your Marriage Can Survive the Loss of a Child to Suicide

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/your-marriage-can-survive-the-loss-of-a-child-to-suicide/

***Many families that are affected by suicide.  I’d appreciate if you share this article on social media or with a friend who needs to hear the message.

“What happened to the trees?” I wondered as I looked out the window facing our backyard.

When we built our house in Indiana there were only a couple of trees on the acre of property.

So we needed trees. And always in search of a good deal, we bought four small maples on clearance. The bargain trees were only a few feet tall with trunks that looked more like skinny twigs. The tree trunks were supported in three places.

Bob dug four holes and planted the maples. They appeared to be doing well the first year. During the second year my husband unfastened the supports to the trunk. It was time for the young trees to stand on their own. The problem was they couldn’t stand. The trees pathetically bent over with the top of the trees on the ground.

A strange sight.

What went wrong?  The trees’ trunks should have been strengthened by the Midwest snow, wind, and rain storms. Instead they were weak having been artificially supported.

This story reminds me of the lesson taught in Psalm 1. The Psalmist compares delighting in God’s word to a healthy tree. A tree able to withstand unfavorable conditions. A tree with a strong core. Unlike my bargain maples.

When we have a continual diet of God’s word we will be prepared to weather hard times

We will be spiritually resilient to hold up under the painful losses that will occur in each of our lives.

Before I lost my son, I had a steady diet of God’s word. Gradually God was deepening my spiritual roots and strengthening my core.

After my son died, God brought to mind Bible verses. Verses that ministered to my broken heart. 

I was confused and hurting but I didn’t doubt that God was real.  God felt especially close. I had a strange calmness in the midst of devastating loss.   

Whenever I opened the Bible I would read and reread various Psalms. I found it difficult to know what to pray. Everything seemed too overwhelming. So I would find a Psalm that expressed my heart and would pray the verses back to the Lord.

Even if you have not experienced a great loss . . . now is the time to let God strengthen your spiritual core through the scriptures.

And if you have experienced tremendous loss it is never too late to find help, hope, and healing from God and His Word.

. . .. but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.

That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers (Psalm 1:2-3).

What do you find helps to strengthen you spiritually?