Blog

10 Things Not to Say to a Grieving Person
Tuesday, June 19, 2018 by Dee Lundgren MA LPC

10 Things to Not Say to a Grieving Person

 

Here’s my list of things not to say to a grieving person. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section. Hope you find this list helpful.

  1. I know exactly how you feel.  Only that person knows exactly how they feel. Your experience with grief might be similar but it is never the same.
  1. God won’t give you more than you can handle. God does allow more than we can handle. That’s why we need him to help us carry our burden.
  1. God needed another angel in heaven so he took your loved one. This statement is especially hurtful. We learn in the Bible that God created all the angels he needed before the fall.
  1. I’m sad too. My cat just died. It can be hurtful to compare the loss of a well-loved pet with a friend’s loved one who died.

 

  1. It will get better. We can hope things get better but we can’t guarantee this statement to be true.

 

  1. Don’t cry. God wants you to be joyful. Jesus wept. Tears are healing.

 

  1. Your situation could be worse.  It doesn’t help the grieving person to compare their situation with others.

 

  1. You just need to do ___________. It’s not helpful to tell a grieving person what they should be doing. People in grief don’t have a lot of energy. Often they are overwhelmed just trying to make it through one day at a time.

 

  1. You need to be strong for your family. The grieving person needs encouragement and acceptance. It is normal and healthy for someone experiencing grief to cry a lot and feel emotionally weak.

 

  1. It was God’s will for your loss. God’s original intention was that we would live in the Garden of Eden. Death is the consequence of sin entering the world.

 

 

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

 

 

 

 

Share This Blog:

Comments

Joyce From Syracuse At 6/22/2018 4:35:37 PM

What are the most helpful things to say or do in these situations?

Reply by: Dee Lundgren

Great question. I'll be covering this in a future blog.

Abbigail Kalag From Raleigh, NC At 6/20/2018 2:15:30 PM

So important for people to know what NOT to say! Job's friends did a great job when they were quiet.

Reply by: Dee Lundgren

Good point about Job's friends,

Previous Posts

Healing through Rest
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
3/5/2021

Real hope in perilous times
Dee Lundgren M.A., L.P.C.
3/22/2020

The Craziness of Grief
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
9/14/2019

How I Almost Missed Out
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
8/23/2019

Weathering the Storms of Life
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
8/15/2019

Is There Purpose in Pain? (And Why it Matters)
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
4/27/2019

Good Grief
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
4/11/2019

The Truth About Grief (And How God Uses It for Our Good)
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
4/4/2019

Is It Ok for a Christian to be Depressed?
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
3/27/2019

The Truth about the Good Old Days
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
3/22/2019

Do You Struggle with What God Allows?
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
3/13/2019

Keep Walking
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
2/26/2019

Embrace Your Season
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
2/23/2019

How to Have Peace in a Chaotic World
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
2/12/2019

There's Always Hope
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
2/5/2019

Prayer the Solution to a Common Condition
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
1/29/2019

The Connection Between Health and Loss--My Personal Story
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
1/22/2019

How Not to Be Cranky
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
1/16/2019

Does God Promise Healing?
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
1/8/2019

An Answer to a Desperate Prayer
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
1/1/2019

Santa on Social Media?
Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC
12/26/2018

5 Myths of Christmas
Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC and Patricia Durgin
12/17/2018

7 Tips on Handling Family Drama (Proven Strategies)
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
12/12/2018

God's Promise to the Weary
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
12/4/2018

Hope for the Frazzled Part Two
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
11/27/2018

Hope for the Frazzled
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
11/20/2018

8 Pitfalls to Avoid being Stuck
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
11/14/2018

Problems as Gifts
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
11/5/2018

Breaking Free from Past Losses
Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC and Patricia Durgin
10/30/2018

God's Bootcamp
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
10/23/2018

Time Out
Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
10/16/2018

Freedom through Forgiveness
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
10/9/2018

What Not to Do When Dreams Turn to Nightmares
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
10/2/2018

God's Detours
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
9/25/2018

My Personal Grief Journey--Part 2
Abbigail Kalaf MS LPC BCPCC
9/11/2018

My Personal Grief Journey--Part 1
Abbigail Kalaf MS LPC BCPCC
9/4/2018

Where is God in the Storm?
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
8/28/2018

Getting to the Other Side of Grief
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
8/21/2018

Billy Graham's Insights on Grieving
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
8/14/2018

When Doing Right Turns Out Wrong
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
8/7/2018

The Connection between Clutter and Grief
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
7/31/2018

A Simple Quiz on Grief
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
7/24/2018

The #1 Gift to Give to a Grieving Friend
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
6/26/2018

10 Things Not to Say to a Grieving Person
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
6/19/2018

Do Christians Grieve Differently?
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
6/5/2018

Press on Toward the Goal
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
5/22/2018

From Brokenness to Wholeness Podcast
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
5/8/2018

The Blessing of Walking by Faith
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
5/1/2018

Grief Ten Years Later
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
1/20/2018

Welcome, My First Blog
Dee Lundgren MA LPC
1/19/2018