God answered my prayer about the topic for this week’s blog. The answer came while standing in line at Trader Joe’s Grocery Store.
The pretty dark-haired customer and the young male clerk were discussing death and funerals. I inched closer when I heard the topic.
This twenty-something woman was saying that the Bible teaches that Christians should not be sad when a believer dies. She said in her country, Christian funerals were to only be a time of celebration. Basically, funerals without tears.
Interesting.
But not healthy.
Or biblical.
Let’s look at what Jesus did when he lost His close friend. In the gospel of John, we find the story of Lazarus’ death (John 11:1-44).
Lazarus was the brother of Mary and Martha. Jesus would often enjoy their hospitality. But this visit was different. After Jesus arrived and saw all the grief, he was filled with emotion. We learn that:
Jesus wept (John 11:35).
Even though Jesus knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, he still cried. Jesus found death to be sad. Through his tears Jesus demonstrated how much he loved his friend.
Death is unnatural and not in God’s original plan. It was only after sin entered the world that death resulted.
Tears are gifts from God. They are healing. We know from the Bible that God is saving all of our tears in a bottle. The Lord values our tears. He doesn’t condemn us for crying. He doesn’t call us weak. And He certainly doesn’t tell us to get over it.
Healing takes time. And it usually takes more time than we think.
Don’t let anyone shame you for grieving.
In America I’ve observed that Christians do allow fellow believers to grieve. But only if the grief doesn’t last too long.
When sadness after devastation lasts more than a few months, the advice begins. And the advice can be more hurtful than helpful.
I remember the time a church member took me out to lunch to encourage me. Instead I felt judged. She found fault with my grief. I came away from that meal feeling more isolated. Perhaps you have had a similar experience when someone’s encouragement only added to your pain.
Yes, celebrate the life of your loved one. Yet in the midst of the celebration let the tears flow. They are healing.
You keep track of all my sorrows You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book (Psalm 56:8).
***There is a sign-up on the Home Page to receive these weekly blogs.
#ChristianCounseling #Grief #BibleonGrief
Real hope in perilous times
3/22/2020 1:40:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren M.A., L.P.C.
The Craziness of Grief
9/14/2019 4:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
How I Almost Missed Out
8/23/2019 7:45:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Weathering the Storms of Life
8/15/2019 3:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Is There Purpose in Pain? (And Why it Matters)
4/27/2019 8:05:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Good Grief
4/11/2019 1:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The Truth About Grief (And How God Uses It for Our Good)
4/4/2019 11:03:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Is It Ok for a Christian to be Depressed?
3/27/2019 3:10:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The Truth about the Good Old Days
3/22/2019 10:13:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Do You Struggle with What God Allows?
3/13/2019 4:15:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Keep Walking
2/26/2019 8:15:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Embrace Your Season
2/23/2019 1:13:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
How to Have Peace in a Chaotic World
2/12/2019 9:06:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
There's Always Hope
2/5/2019 3:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Prayer the Solution to a Common Condition
1/29/2019 5:09:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
The Connection Between Health and Loss--My Personal Story
1/22/2019 12:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
How Not to Be Cranky
1/16/2019 11:30:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Does God Promise Healing?
1/8/2019 1:41:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
An Answer to a Desperate Prayer
1/1/2019 7:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Santa on Social Media?
12/26/2018 9:02:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC
5 Myths of Christmas
12/17/2018 3:05:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC and Patricia Durgin
7 Tips on Handling Family Drama (Proven Strategies)
12/12/2018 9:35:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
God's Promise to the Weary
12/4/2018 9:24:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Hope for the Frazzled Part Two
11/27/2018 3:30:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Hope for the Frazzled
11/20/2018 12:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
8 Pitfalls to Avoid being Stuck
11/14/2018 8:00:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Problems as Gifts
11/5/2018 10:55:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Breaking Free from Past Losses
10/30/2018 8:30:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC and Patricia Durgin
God's Bootcamp
10/23/2018 8:35:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Time Out
10/16/2018 8:50:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Freedom through Forgiveness
10/9/2018 8:06:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
What Not to Do When Dreams Turn to Nightmares
10/2/2018 8:35:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
God's Detours
9/25/2018 9:00:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
My Personal Grief Journey--Part 2
9/11/2018 8:20:00 AM by: Abbigail Kalaf MS LPC BCPCC
My Personal Grief Journey--Part 1
9/4/2018 8:05:00 AM by: Abbigail Kalaf MS LPC BCPCC
Where is God in the Storm?
8/28/2018 10:30:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Getting to the Other Side of Grief
8/21/2018 9:25:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Billy Graham's Insights on Grieving
8/14/2018 9:00:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
When Doing Right Turns Out Wrong
8/7/2018 11:20:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The Connection between Clutter and Grief
7/31/2018 8:34:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
A Simple Quiz on Grief
7/24/2018 8:30:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The #1 Gift to Give to a Grieving Friend
6/26/2018 9:04:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
10 Things Not to Say to a Grieving Person
6/19/2018 9:00:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Do Christians Grieve Differently?
6/5/2018 8:25:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Press on Toward the Goal
5/22/2018 11:30:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
From Brokenness to Wholeness Podcast
5/8/2018 10:10:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The Blessing of Walking by Faith
5/1/2018 1:20:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Grief Ten Years Later
1/20/2018 1:35:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Welcome, My First Blog
1/19/2018 11:08:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
