It was before google maps so I had a paper copy of the directions. As turned onto the client’s street, the house screamed—you have arrived! With trash littering the front yard, several old broken-down cars in the driveway, shutters falling down, front screen door off its hing It es . . .
I had arrived but was unprepared.
Unprepared for the debris both inside and outside this house nestled in an upscale neighborhood. My assignment was to unclutter years’ worth of stuff. There wasn’t a clear path to any of the rooms. I was in for a challenge.
Before I could attempt this daunting task, I needed to deal with the why question. Why the owner of the house couldn’t throw things out.
The hoarding began after a significant loss—her divorce. After her marriage failed stuff began to pile up. Then the clutter caused significant problems. She was not able to move on in life.
Although not to the same degree, many of us can relate to this woman’s need to keep unneeded items. Especially after a devastating loss.
I might not be as extreme in my not throwing away.
For me it goes something like this. Keep the house similar to the way it was when my son was alive. Then I won’t be reminded of the passage of time. That works for a while.
But in the last few years I’ve been addressing some of the stuff issues. And I’ve been hauling black bags to the trash and to my favorite Christian charity.
Part of the grief process often involves stuff.
Every person is different. No one can tell another person what to keep and what to part with.
I found that saying good-bye to certain items was a process. John’s clothes were the first things I gave away. I kept a few of his favorite shirts. We donated John’s punching bag to a Christian group working with inner-city teens. John would have been pleased.
I was talking with a friend who had recently thrown out all her educational teaching binders. She told me she had spent hours creating these materials. And by parting with these items, my friend was acknowledging that she was in a new stage in life. Grieving the loss of her former career.
I am reminded that we can’t let good things into our lives if we insist on hanging on to the old.
A time to keep and time to throw away (Ecclesiastes 3:6).
I’d love to hear your thoughts on decluttering.
Good Grief
4/11/2019 1:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The Truth About Grief
4/4/2019 11:03:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Is It Ok for a Christian to be Depressed?
3/27/2019 3:10:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The Truth about the Good Old Days
3/22/2019 10:13:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Do You Struggle with What God Allows?
3/13/2019 4:15:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Healing through Rest
3/5/2019 8:05:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Keep Walking
2/26/2019 8:15:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Embrace Your Season
2/23/2019 1:13:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
How to Have Peace in a Chaotic World
2/12/2019 9:06:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
There's Always Hope
2/5/2019 3:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Prayer the Solution to a Common Condition
1/29/2019 5:09:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
The Connection Between Health and Loss--My Personal Story
1/22/2019 12:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
How Not to Be Cranky
1/16/2019 11:30:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Does God Promise Healing?
1/8/2019 1:41:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
An Answer to a Desperate Prayer
1/1/2019 7:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Santa on Social Media?
12/26/2018 9:02:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC
5 Myths of Christmas
12/17/2018 3:05:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC and Patricia Durgin
7 Tips on Handling Family Drama
12/12/2018 9:35:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
God's Promise to the Weary
12/4/2018 9:24:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Hope for the Frazzled Part Two
11/27/2018 3:30:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Hope for the Frazzled
11/20/2018 12:00:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
8 Pitfalls to Avoid being Stuck
11/14/2018 8:00:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Problems as Gifts
11/5/2018 10:55:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Breaking Free from Past Losses
10/30/2018 8:30:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren, M.A., LPC and Patricia Durgin
God's Bootcamp
10/23/2018 8:35:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Time Out
10/16/2018 8:50:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA, LPC
Freedom through Forgiveness
10/9/2018 8:06:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
What Not to Do When Dreams Turn to Nightmares
10/2/2018 8:35:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
God's Detours
9/25/2018 9:00:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The Craziness of Grief
9/18/2018 11:00:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
My Personal Grief Journey--Part 2
9/11/2018 8:20:00 AM by: Abbigail Kalaf MS LPC BCPCC
My Personal Grief Journey--Part 1
9/4/2018 8:05:00 AM by: Abbigail Kalaf MS LPC BCPCC
Where is God in the Storm?
8/28/2018 10:30:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Getting to the Other Side of Grief
8/21/2018 9:25:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Billy Graham's Insights on Grieving
8/14/2018 9:00:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
When Doing Right Turns Out Wrong
8/7/2018 11:20:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The Connection between Clutter and Grief
7/31/2018 8:34:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
A Simple Quiz on Grief
7/24/2018 8:30:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Is There Purpose in Pain?
7/10/2018 9:05:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Weathering the Storms of Life
7/3/2018 8:35:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The #1 Gift to Give to a Grieving Friend
6/26/2018 9:04:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
10 Things Not to Say to a Grieving Person
6/19/2018 9:00:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Do Christians Grieve Differently?
6/5/2018 8:25:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Press on Toward the Goal
5/22/2018 11:30:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
From Brokenness to Wholeness Podcast
5/8/2018 10:10:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
The Blessing of Walking by Faith
5/1/2018 1:20:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Grief Ten Years Later
1/20/2018 1:35:00 PM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
Welcome, My First Blog
1/19/2018 11:08:00 AM by: Dee Lundgren MA LPC
